


The Love Story of Jord and Nikandros

by idratherhaveyou



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Fluff and Angst, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Snapshots, during Kings Reign, i promise it's fun, lots of poetic waxing, so like not really smut, soft core sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 04:35:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8518717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idratherhaveyou/pseuds/idratherhaveyou
Summary: Takes place during Kings Reign...so like if you haven't read Kings Reign, don't read it.  You probably won't know what's going on.Essentially, just small snapshots of Jord and Nikandros' relationship through my fic.  One shot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is almost entirely fluff. I thought we all deserved some and this was literally the only thing that I was capable of doing today in the shit show that is America and my life.  
> All I want to say is I love Jord and Nikandros and this is my ode to them.  
> I hope this makes some people feel better. It did that much for me.   
> Also, it's totally unedited cuz I'm lazy and tired and I can't. Honestly, I can't guarantee it's coherent.

The first time Nikandros really _saw_ Jord was when he was standing in front of him, waving his arms pathetically and speaking quickly in Veretian.So quickly, Nikandros couldn’t even catch any of the words he might’ve known.A lock of his hair was falling in his face and his gray eyes were wild, begging Nikandros to understand what he was saying.It was obvious how much he cared about the safety and well-being of his kingdom and his prince, something Nikandros understood all too well.It didn’t change the fact he was Veretian and that Nikandros was very firmly opposed to any and all Veretians at the moment.Nonetheless, he raised his hands in the air, begging Jord to stop blabbering.

Obviously, someone needed to tell Damen—and he supposed Laurent, as well—that there had been an attack on the border and Nikandros would like it to be himself.They were in Akielos.It was his right.The king here was Damen, not Laurent. 

In an attempt to get his point across, Nikandros resorted to very short sentences and lots of hand gestures.Jord watched every movement carefully and with consideration and then nodded shortly, adding a couple of words in Veretian.That didn’t bode well.There was no way he’d actually understood, but Nikandros had a hard time caring.

Then, he began adding more hand gestures, most pointing to himself and Nikandros groaned.Carefully, in very butchered Veretian, he said, “Let’s get this over with.”There was no point arguing over who would reveal the news for the rest of time.Damen and Laurent needed to know now.

And sure enough, the moment they entered the room, finding Damen and Laurent very close together to Nikandros’ irritation, they started speaking at the exact same time.Unable to help himself, Nikandros broke into furious exclamations about how he should really be the one to talk because this was his home, not Jord’s.Jord was glaring at him, his gray eyes sending shivers down Nikandros’ spine, and then Laurent said in Veretian, “Do shut up.What is it?”Nikandros was very proud of himself for understanding.

Miraculously, Jord waved him ahead, grumbling quietly to himself.All the pent up energy in Nikandros settled and he found himself wondering why Jord had caved now, after all that.Choosing to forgo contemplating that until later, Nikandros delivered his message.

 

They were to ride to the border together and it was clearly upsetting Jord, who was mumbling to himself again and shooting thinly-layered glares at Nikandros.Nikandros gave them right back, unsure what else to do.They were Veretian and Akielon after all.They weren’t supposed to get along.Damen and Laurent were some bizarre exception that Nikandros didn’t approve of or understand.Inexplicably, Damen actually appeared to love him.

Three halls later, they were still walking together and Nikandros suspected Jord was lost.With a sigh, he came to a halt and said, “Lost?”

Pausing, Jord glanced back at him and crinkled his eyebrows.Feeling foolish, Nikandros mimed being lost, walking around aimlessly, looking confused, then he turned to see if Jord understood.The crinkle had disappeared and slowly, in Akielon, he said, “Yes.I am lost.”To both of their credits, neither one of them laughed at the other.

“Do you remember anything surrounding your room?” Nikandros asked, pointing to his brain and then making a large sweeping gesture with his arms as he talked.

The crinkle was back, but this time it was interested and engaged.After a moment, trying to collect his words and then realizing he didn’t have them, Jord swore fluidly, the Veretian making them sound slightly less vulgar than they really were.Nikandros was proud to say he’d actually bothered to learn the swear words.

Then Jord walked over to a small bust signaling an entrance to a set of gardens and gestured to it.“Lots,” he said, “And tall.”His Akielon really was terrible.That accent did not help in the slightest.Either way, Nikandros knew exactly where he meant.They’d have to go back the way they came and turn down the first hall they came across.

Waving his hand, Nikandros walked away.He heard the patter of steps behind him and he smiled softly.When they entered a hall lined with tall statues, Jord grinned.“I am not lost,” he said.

Nikandros laughed despite himself and then turned to execute an illustrious bow.“Happy to be of service,” he said.“I assume you can take it from here.”

“I have no idea what you just said,” Jord replied.Nikandros was pretty sure that’s what he’d said, anyway.He’d taken it upon himself to fill in some of the words he hadn’t understood with his own interpretation.

“Good night,” Nikandros replied in Veretian.

Jord smiled shyly.“Good night.”And then in Akielon, “Thank you.”

They would be leaving first thing in the morning, leaving them only a few hours to sleep.As Nikandros walked to his own room, he found he wasn’t dreading the morning.Somehow, they’d managed to get by and there was something distinctly un-Veretian about Jord.He’d listened and watched with care, as though speaking to Nikandros had actually mattered.Laurent certainly wouldn’t have done that, whether he was capable of understanding Nikandros or not.

 

The second night of the journey, Jord and Nikandros were alone around a campfire.The other members of their small retinue had already gone to get some rest.Nikandros had no idea why Jord was still awake, but it was nice to have company as he drank away the sore muscles from today.Relaxing further onto a log he’d found to use as a backrest, Nikandros kicked off his boots and took another sip of alcohol.This was his own personal stash, not the shitty wine everyone else had to drink.It was about to run out and so Nikandros decided to drink it all tonight, reveling in every last drop.His stomach was already pleasantly warm and he could feel the beginnings of his brain going fuzzy.This was the life.If Damen was here, it would be perfect.

Nikandros glanced at Jord and realized that he didn’t have to feel so alone right now.Maybe the couldn’t talk, but they could share a drink.He waited until Jord met his gaze and then he offered his canteen.

Their fingers brushed as Jord accepted it and Nikandros felt explosions where their skin touched and he took a deep breath, flicking his eyes away before he did something ridiculous and impulsive.If Damen were here, he’d be dragging Nikandros away.

“Thank you,” Jord said in Akielon, handing the canteen back.

“You’re welcome,” Nikandros replied, hoping that someday they would be able to manage more than this.If they could, maybe someday he could do something ridiculous and impulsive.

“It was a…” Jord paused and said something in Veretian, then, “…day for a…” he motioned riding a horse.

Nikandros smiled and responded with the word for ‘ride’ in Akielon.Jord repeated it a couple of times until Nikandros nodded and then they smiled at each other.Carefully, Nikandros said, “How do you say it in Veretian?”

And then Nikandros found himself repeating ‘ride’ over and over again, Jord’s eyes sparkling as he tried not to laugh at Nikandros’ attempts.Then they started pointing at random things that they saw, sharing the names for them in their respective languages.The more they pointed to, the more animated Nikandros got, until Jord was laughing so hard that he was about to cry and Nikandros was grinning, surprised to discover how pleased he was to make Jord laugh.It was a nice laugh.Quiet and unassuming, but honest.So different from his own.

 

The next night, Jord was very reserved, staring off into the field surrounding them and sipping the bad wine, grimacing with each swallow.Nikandros didn’t approach him, figuring he had no right to infringe on whatever was happening with him.They’d had a good time last night, but they didn’t actually know anything about each other.

Instead, he spent his time with the other men, drinking and chatting.He didn’t know them well, however, and caught himself staring at Jord more than once.The lines of his face were softened in the dim firelight and there was something heartbreaking in the fold of his back. 

Throughout the night, everyone gradually turned in, until it was just Nikandros and Jord left.Finishing his drink, Nikandros rose to do the same as the others, when Jord approached him, ruffling his hand through his hair.“Can we…” he stopped, searching, and Nikandros decided to finish for him.

“Repeat last night?”

A smile grew on Jord’s face and he nodded, pointing up to they sky and the stars.When they ran out of things to point at, they began drawing with sticks on the ground.The dirt was hard to dig into and neither of them were particularly good artists, but they managed, once falling into each other laughing because of a horse Jord had drawn that looked more like a cloud. 

“Okay?” Nikandros eventually asked.It was the only comfortable way he could phrase that question.

The smile dropped and Jord grasped Nikandros’ hand.“Thank you,” he said.Nikandros understood. _Thank you for noticing._  

Nikandros said, “I wish we could talk like this.I feel like I would actually like you if we could talk like this.”

Jord smiled sadly as though he understood.Maybe he did.Last night, Nikandros had learned how to say ‘sleep well’, so he used it, earning an approving smile from Jord.He returned the sentiment in Akielon and Nikandros spent the night staring at the ceiling of his tent and wondering how it was possible that teaching a language to another person was such an intimate experience.Nikandros had never been a part of a relationship that had developed this quickly, especially when they’d been unable to have a long conversation.Maybe it was words that got in the way.Or maybe it was simply Jord.

 

They’d been at the border for a day, fixing the mess of leadership they’d been greeted with.Some of the men didn’t even know who were they were supposed to be reporting to.Nikandros was waiting for Jord to come back from talking to the Veretian villages and forces on the other side of the border and he spent that time thinking of Damen.It was lucky for Damen that Nikandros would do anything for him, because this—working for peace among Akielons and Veretians—was strange and Nikandros found himself having a difficult time not resorting to prejudiced language himself when talking to his people. 

Damen would be out of bed soon and then he’d go join Laurent.Nikandros knew that without having to be told.But first, they’d have him coronated and then Damen would be left with a decision; who to place in charge of Ios while he was gone.Nikandros should be there, but he couldn’t abandon his duty.

That was when Jord came riding back, his hair blowing back off his forehead.When he jumped down, he headed straight for Nikandros and smiled.It was a smile Nikandros could interpret easily.They had peace.For now, at least.Somehow, Jord had managed it and that was when Nikandros realized what he had to do.He could be there for Damen and keep the border safe.Jord was more than capable.All that was left was to tell Jord he was being left here alone.Somehow.Nikandros knew he could say the words, but he wanted to get more across than that.He wanted Jord to understand how sorry he was, but how he felt obligated to be there for Damen.He wanted Jord to understand that, miraculously, he’d come to mean something to Nikandros in just a few short weeks and he wasn’t sure that was something he could relay accurately.

The weight of a hand rested on Nikandros’ shoulder and he looked up to see Jord with a frown and the crinkled eyebrows Nikandros had become very familiar with.This time, however, it wasn’t over an unknown word or an ugly drawing.It was over Nikandros.

With a short laugh, Nikandros laid a hand over Jord’s, which, while slightly uncomfortable, was necessary.“Thank you,” he said in Veretian and to his pleasure, it made Jord laugh.

“But what is wrong?” Jord asked.

“I have to leave.You have to stay.”

“I have to…” 

Nikandros repeated the word and placed a hand against Jord’s chest, pressing into his sternum.There was a brief pause and then Jord nodded.“Why?” he asked.

“Damen needs me.”It wasn’t a perfect explanation, but it was the best he could do.

“I will…learn Akielon while you are leave.”

Quickly, Nikandros filled in the word for gone and Jord nodded, smiling.“I will learn,” he repeated.“It has been good to know you.”

“And you,” Nikandros said.“I’m sorry.”Nikandros silently cursed that he couldn’t say what he really wanted to say. _I’m sorry I can’t stay because I really want to and it has nothing to do with this border or the wrath I might face for returning without a direct order.It has everything to do with you.Thank you for laughing at my pathetic Veretian._ Not that he would’ve said that if he could’ve.It probably would’ve been more like: _don’t forget me_ followed by a flirtatious smile.Their ability to understand had not reached the nuance of flirting yet, however.Nikandros tried not to analyze how deeply he wanted to flirt with Jord.He would get endlessly teased by Damen if he found out.

Jord offered another sad smile and then handed his own horse over to Nikandros, as it was already saddled.Holding up a finger, Jord walked off and came back with bags packed with food and other necessities for the road.He gave them to Nikandros then waved.Mounting the horse, Nikandros waved back and then galloped off, glancing back behind him when he was far enough away not to see Jord’s expression.It wouldn’t have mattered either way, because Jord had turned his back.A back that was slumped in the same way it had been that one reserved night around the campfire.

 

It had come as a surprise to Nikandros just how much he’d missed Jord.There had been very few people to practice speaking Veretian with in Akielos, but Laurent had left behind some books and Nikandros had poured over them every night, trying to learn something so that whenever he saw Jord again, he didn’t sound stupid.There was a reason, after all, Damen was sending him to Ravenel now, before he was even back in Ios.The lovable idiot was playing matchmaker.Normally, Nikandros would’ve minded, but he hadn’t been sure when he was going to see Jord, if ever again, and now he was.

As he rode into Ravenel, days before Damen and Laurent were to arrive, he was surprised to see that a small household was there to greet him, smiling and greeting him in hesitant Akielon.The border forts had a better grasp on the language than the rest of Vere did.

A young woman showed him to his rooms and Nikandros was standing and grimacing at them, wishing for paler colors and less tapestries, when a knock distracted him from his contemplation.Turning towards the door, Nikandros called for them to enter and then Jord was there, stepping into the room, a grin lighting up his face.Cautiously, he moved towards Nikandros and said, “It’s good to see you.It’s been a long time.”The accent was slightly less pronounced and the Akielon was good.He was sure it showed on his face just how impressed he was, because Jord’s smile grew.

“My Veretian is not that improved,” he replied.

Jord shrugged.“We’ll speak in Akielon and I will teach you.”

Falling back into what felt like an old habit, Nikandros pointed to the bed and Jord supplied the word.They went through almost every object in the room, Nikandros having to teach Jord the words for only a couple of them.When they finished, Nikandros sunk into a chair, tired after the day’s ride, and poured himself a drink, offering one to Jord, who accepted.

They sat in comfortable silence for a minute, but Nikandros wasn’t one for prolonged silence, so he decided to start doing what Damen had really sent him here for.“I missed you,” he said.“It’s strange, perhaps, but I did.”

It took a beat for Jord to fully understand what he said, but then he smiled softly, running a finger around the rim of his cup.“I missed you as well,” he murmured.

“What about me did you miss?” Nikandros asked, smirking.

Jord glanced up from his cup, gray eyes unsure.Nikandros took it in full stride, just happy to stare into a pair of unfairly gorgeous eyes.Something in them hardened and then Jord declared, “Your…” he trailed off and said something in Veretian.When he started making motions with his hands that looked similar to a fire sparking to life, Nikandros smiled and said, “Vivacity?”

Jord shrugged, not entirely sure.Quickly, Nikandros thought of every synonym he knew and tried to find one that he knew in Veretian.Eventually he landed on energy.

Jord nodded and said, “What about you?”

“Your thoughtfulness.I talk quite a bit.Not many people listen to everything I say.”

“We’ve been unable to speak much.It’s possible I’ll be like everyone else.”

“I don’t think you will,” Nikandros replied seriously.

“How would you know?”

Nikandros shrugged and dipped his head slightly to catch Jord’s eyes.“I feel like I know you,” he murmured.“I don’t know how that’s possible, but it’s true.I feel like I’ve known you my entire life.”

Jord flushed lightly and dropped his eyes to the ground, but his lips quirked and Nikandros knew he hadn’t made a mistake.Leaning back into his chair, Nikandros smiled lazily and started asking questions about Jord’s childhood and family in an effort to make him more comfortable.He was also genuinely curious.

It did put Jord at ease as he delved deeper, especially when he was discussing his younger sister, a young woman who was almost as skilled at sword work as he was.It was obvious that she was his everything.His eyes were blindingly bright and any and all angles of his face melted into a addicting softness.Nikandros thought he wouldn’t mind seeing that same softness directed at him.For a moment, the idea scared him, because it occurred to him that those weren’t typical thoughts for him.Most of the time, he only wished for sex.

This, whatever it was, was more than that. 

When Jord finished talking, Nikandros returned the favor, talking of his training as a child and his long friendship with Damen.Jord was particularly interested in that, knowing Damen himself.The stories Nikandros shared informed him of the more shadowed facets of Damen’s personality.

The late afternoon turned to night, but neither seemed interested in moving.Nikandros called for food and they ate together, the discussion moving to Laurent.They lingered there a long time, Nikandros interested in discovering what it was exactly that Damen saw.Clearly, Jord saw similar things, because his respect for Laurent was obvious in the tone of his voice and his determined eyes.

The natural topic that followed Laurent was Damen’s time in Vere and what had exactly happened with Laurent’s uncle.Halfway through the story though, Jord stopped and pushed uneaten food around his plate.

“What is it?” Nikandros asked, laying his hand on Jord’s knee.It was forward of him, but he was a forward person.

Jord stared at his hand, but didn’t flinch away or ask him to remove it.“There’s a man—a boy really—who’s important to this story, but I don’t know how to talk about him,” Jord whispered.“His name was Aimeric.”

“Damen mentioned him,” Nikandros said, knowing that was the member of Laurent’s army that had betrayed them all and had almost lost Laurent everything.Something important had happened between he and Jord, that much was obvious.“You don’t have to talk about it.You sure as hell don’t owe me anything.We barely know each other.”Then he laughed, mostly to disguise the fact that wanted to know about Aimeric desperately.

Jord laid his hand on top of Nikandros’.“Thank you,” he said.Then he paused, looking into Nikandros’ eyes as though they were an iridescent sunrise.“I will tell you, eventually,” he finally said, “if you’re willing to wait.”

Nikandros flashed a flirty smile.“Oh, I’m willing to wait.”

Jord laughed.“You are confident, aren’t you?”

“And you’re a little bit shy.”

“I prefer cautious.”

“Cautious,” Nikandros moped.“Around me?”

Jord laughed again, harder this time.“How about cautiously optimistic, then?”

Leaning forward, so that their faces were only inches apart, Nikandros breathed, “I like that much better.” 

It had been a bad idea to get this close.It had seemed like a good idea at the time, the possibility of flustering Jord simply too irresistible, but now those gray eyes weren’t leaving his, his heart was racing faster, and it was impossible to move back.Unable to help himself, he flicked his eyes downwards to Jord’s lips, which were hanging open slightly as he breathed.

The desire to lean in and press his lips against Jord’s was almost unbearable, but he knew it was too fast.Not for him, but for Jord.Swallowing, he lifted his hand and laid it against Jord’s face.“I’m not going to kiss you,” he whispered into the charged air, “But I need you to know how much I want to.”

“Such a tease,” Jord replied, his face dead serious.

“Is that a joke?Are you joking?”

“Yes,” Jord said, a smile breaking.He tilted his head forward and brushed his lips against Nikandros’ cheek.“I’m going to bed, but I will see you tomorrow?”

“You can’t get rid of me now.”

“Damn it,” Jord said, his face and voice as neutral as they were before, but this time, Nikandros realized it was a joke.

“Thank you for learning Akielon,” Nikandros said.

“I fully expect the same from you.I think language lessons are in store for tomorrow.”

“I look forward to them.”

“I don’t think you do.”

Nikandros laughed.“The longer you know me, Jord, the more you’ll realize how full of shit I really am.”

This gave Jord pause and then he smiled a smile that was so forgiving and accepting that Nikandros wanted to run and hide.That was not a smile he deserved.“I think,” Jord said, “that’s what you want people to think.I don’t believe it for a moment.”Then he stood, clasped Nikandros’ shoulder briefly, and left the room, leaving Nikandros in a mild state of shock. 

He was so fucked.

 

The proceeding days were filled with walks and conversations that took place entirely in Veretian.Nikandros struggled less and less with the language as the days increased.Whenever he misspoke, Jord would touch his hand or his shoulder lightly, grabbing his attention, and correct him.Nikandros knew the touches were unnecessary and he delighted in them. 

The nights were filled with dinners and drink and Akielon, Nikandros still finding lots of moments to correct Jord.They were also filled with copious amounts of flirting, mostly started by Nikandros, but vigorously encouraged by Jord.

It was one of those nights now.Nikandros was slightly drunker than normal and they were outside, lying on the ground of the battlements, sharing the night with the stars and the moon.Jord took a sip from his flask and said, “I haven’t done this before.I like it.”

“You’ve never done this?”

“No.I’ve never devoted the time to it.I’ve seen stars.I didn’t think they got better the longer you stared at them.It’s illogical.”

Nikandros shrugged.“The longer I stare at you, the more beautiful you become.”

Jord turned his head and smiled shyly.“That’s kind of you.”

“Always modest.”

“If I told you you were beautiful, you’d just agree, wouldn’t you?”

“Definitely,” Nikandros laughed.

“So,” Jord began, eyes sparkling as brightly as the stars, “what about me is beautiful?Seduce me, oh arrogant one.”

Nikandros’ heart fluttered and he felt vaguely nauseous, but in a good way.“I’d be delighted,” he said, generously in Veretian, perfectly aware his flirting would be more sensuous that way.When he said that, however, something in Jord’s face collapsed and Nikandros stared at him curiously.That was the word for delighted, right?He hadn’t been entirely sure.There was another word in Veretian that sounded unfairly similar.It was something like…oh no…

“I see,” Jord whispered.

“No, no,” Nikandros said vehemently, while switching to Akielon.“I meant to say delighted.I did not, in any way, try and ensue that I would abhor doing that.How could you even think that?”

The last part didn’t seem to help Jord’s mood.It insinuated he was being ridiculous or unintelligent.

Grabbing Jord’s hand, Nikandros pressed it against his chest, right over his heart and said, “I’m sorry.Please believe me.”

Jord gave a disgruntled grunt, but he left his hand where it was.

Raising himself onto his knees, still keeping Jord’s hand against his chest, he continued with, “I’ll go and fetch you the moon and place it at your feet.Or a star, if you want a star.Anything you want, just believe me, please.I don’t want to ruin this.I _can’t_ ruin this.”He hadn’t really meant to go that far, but it was true.Terrifyingly true.

Jord started laughing hysterically, dragging his hand back down and pulling Nikandros with it, until Nikandros was on top of him, Jord’s body shaking his. 

“You are so dramatic,” Jord choked out, removing his hand from Nikandros’ chest and swiping it over and over through the short curls by his temple.

“It’s your eyes,” Nikandros whispered.“They’re what makes you beautiful.When you’re happy, they’re better than starlight.”

Jord considered him and then smiled, his eyes doing the exact thing Nikandros had just described, making him feel more drunk than he actually was.“Alright,” Jord said, “That definitely worked.” 

And then they were kissing.It didn’t start slow or careful.Right away, it was messy and slow and wet.Every nerve in Nikandros’ body was alert and hyperaware of all the places their skin was touching, which admittedly, wasn’t nearly enough. 

Jord nudged Nikandros more firmly on top of him, one of Nikandros’ legs falling between Jord’s.Hands were traveling down backs and waists, but there was no urgency behind them.Moving his hands back up, Nikandros cupped Jord’s face, pulled away slightly and looked at him.Jord’s eyes were still closed as he waited for the kiss to continue and Nikandros smiled before kissing him once more, putting finality behind it so that Jord would stare back.

“Hi,” Nikandros murmured.

“Your arrogance is not entirely misplaced, apparently.”

“Are you saying I’m a good kisser?” Nikandros grinned, pecking him on the mouth one more time just because he could.

Jord’s already flushed skin reddened even further, but he nodded, smiling.“I’m happy,” he said.

“Good.Me too.”

“Do you think we could do that again sometime?”

“Is right now good for you or would you like to catch your breath first?”

Jord laughed and wrapped his arms around Nikandros’ neck, bringing down so they were flush with each other.It was a strange hug, but a hug nonetheless.Those were not something Nikandros typically took part in, but this one felt so right that he didn’t complain.

“You actually like me, then,” Jord breathed into his ear.It was supposed to be a statement, but Nikandros heard a hint of a question in it.

“Yes.Very much.More than anyone ever before.You are exquisite.”

“And you’re not lying?”

“No, I…”Nikandros slipped out of the hug and fell to the side, lifting himself up on an elbow so he could look at Jord more properly.“What is this about?”

Sighing, Jord ran his hands over his face and gazed up at the stars.“Aimeric,” he whispered.“I was in love with him, I think, but then he betrayed all of us and I covered for him so that he could.And then I never got to talk to him before he…before he killed himself.If I had maybe…” Jord trailed off.

“You still love him,” Nikandros said.

“No, I…I don’t know.I don’t know.If I’d gotten to talk to him, I could have figured that out, but…I’m so sorry.This has nothing to do with you.”

“We’ll take this slow.I will give you as much time as you need to figure it out.You won’t even know what to do with all the time I’m willing to give you.”

Jord shifted his gaze back to Nikandros.“You will?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“You…you sleep around.You can’t possibly want to wait for a broken man like me, not when there’s so many other people that…”  
Nikandros stopped his words with another kiss.“I want to wait.I said I’d fetch you the moon, remember?Do you think I say that to just anybody?”

“Don’t you?”

“No.”

“You want…”

“I want you.You are possibly exactly what I’ve been waiting for.”

“You’ve been waiting for me, have you?”

“Think so,” Nikandros laughed, kissing his chin, the stubble grating against his lips.

“I feel like I should swoon.Too bad I’m already lying down.”

“You know, I didn’t think you were going to be funny.I thought that was going to be my contribution, but I was wrong.Somehow, nonsensically, you’re hilarious.”

“You are terrible at complimenting.”

“I compared your eyes to starlight.I deserve credit for that.”

“You would think so.”

“How can I convince you?”  
  
“Oh,” Jord said, trailing fingers over Nikandros’ cheekbone, “A kiss might do it.”

 

Weeks passed.Their relationship continued to deepen, Jord managing to delve deep into parts of Nikandros he hadn’t even showed Damen; his deepest anxieties and insecurities and fears.Jord allowed the same, honestly and without pretense; more impressively, without self-deprecating humor, one thing Nikandros hadn’t managed.Suprisingly, though, Nikandros found what was difficult for him relatively easy with Jord.He felt like home. 

That wasn’t to say that Nikandros didn’t get scared over those weeks, because he did.The truth was, he’d found a forever and he’d gone his entire life assuming such a thing didn’t exist.A shifting world view was not an easy thing to reconcile.His consequent struggle with that reconciliation had started two fights; their only fights.When he was scared, he was insensitive and took some jokes too far.Both instances were almost instantly forgiven, but Jord had made sure that Nikandros knew the behavior was unacceptable.

They traveled from Ravenel to Akielos.Damen and Laurent got married in a beautiful ceremony, one that Nikandros found himself unconsciously taking notes of, to his horror.Things were beginning to unravel, Guion taking up forces against the joining of Vere and Akielos. 

It was because of that they found themselves on a rooftop, getting drunk with Laurent, Damen, and Jokaste.Getting drunk and having a good time, to Nikandros’ surprise and regret.He hadn’t intended on liking Jokaste or Laurent, but they were excellent company.

Jord adored both of them, not only entranced by their obvious beauty, but by the workings of their minds, something he could hardly could comprehend.He would comment on it all the time to Nikandros.It would’ve been irritating if, secretly, Nikandros hadn’t felt the same way.

It was late that night they finally found their way off the rooftop, most of the alcohol having worn off.Nonetheless, Jord and Nikandros were hanging onto each other as they walked, happy to share body warmth.When they got to their room, Jord peeled off his shirt and then collapsed on the bed.He groaned into a pillow and said, words muffled, “I feel like I could sleep for years.”

“Really?” Nikandros asked, taking off his own shirt and sitting down on the edge of the bed, pulling Jord’s feet into his lap and massaging them gently.“I feel like I could fly.”

“I told you that we would have a good time.”

“I don’t want to like them,” Nikandros grumbled.

“They’re done hurting Damen.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that they have.”

“Work on forgiveness, darling.”

“It’s lucky you’re not blonde.”

Even though Jord was facedown in a pillow, Nikandros knew he was rolling his eyes.They sat in silence for a moment, before Jord rolled over and gazed at him.Then he sighed.“You are incredibly awake.”

“I said I could fly, didn’t I?Can you imagine how much energy that must take?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Would you put that question in the category of stupid or positively delusional?”

Jord rolled his eyes, but Nikandros smiled, because they were starlight.He’d been slightly worried he’d taken that joke too far.

“Why haven’t we had sex?”

“I don’t know.Why haven’t we?”

“That’s an irritating answer.”

“Okay,” Nikandros sighed, taking a deep breath and assuming his more serious personality.“I was looking for some sign that I knew you were ready, giving you time to sort out how you feel about Aimeric.That was what we decided, after all.”

“Oh Nik,” Jord said, smiling fondly, “How can I love him when I have you?”

“I’m going to take that as a sign.”

Jord laughed, but he sobered up at the bemused expression on Nikandros’ face.“I’m sorry,” he whispered.“I’m not good at telling you how I feel, am I?”

“No.”

“You could’ve said it was irritating you.”

“It wasn’t irritating me,” Nikandros grumbled.It had been, actually, but the irritation had been nothing to all of the other feelings—good feelings—that he’d let it slide.It didn’t take a mind like Laurent’s to realize that Jord was better at actions than words.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“Not as terrible as you.You start giggling.”

“I do not giggle,” Jord said mildly.

“Yes you do.”

“I do not.”

“Do.”

“Don’t.”

“Do.”

“No I…ugh, fine, whatever you want.You are too exhausting for me right now.Grab a member of the guard and spar until you’re tired.”

“No, I shan’t.Unless I’m insane, I’m relatively sure this conversation was heading in the direction of ‘let’s have sex.’And if that is, in fact, accurate, I would very much like to agree and offer that now is an excellent time,” Nikandros said.

“Have you ever talked yourself into exhaustion?”

“I do it all the time,” Nikandros grinned.

“Why did it have to be you?”

Still grinning, Nikandros shifted Jord’s feet back onto the bed and situated himself so that he was on all fours above Jord.Their faces were very close and Nikandros began trailing feather light kisses up and down his jawline.“Let’s have sex, let’s have sex, let’s have sex.”

“Can you keep that up all night?”

“Yes.”

“Fine then.”

Nikandros pecked him on the lips and then mellowed.“Are you sure?”

Jord flushed.“Yes.”

“Very wise of you.Not to brag, but you are about to have a very good time.”

“And I’m about to knee you in the dick.”

“Ouch,” Nikandros smiled, kissing Jord again, but much slower and with a lot more tongue.It didn’t take long before all of their clothes were off and they were obscenely tangled together, hips rolling slowly, bruised lips still meeting.

When they pulled apart, it took some awkward and fumbling conversation to figure out how they wanted to proceed.Nikandros managed to insert enough lewd comments, however, that it wasn’t uncomfortable and that Jord was blushing furiously, begging him to stop in a whiny voice—about as dramatic as he was willing to go.

But once that conversation was over, it all fit together and they were panting, groaning into each other’s ears.Nikandros kept it absolutely filthy, too addicted to Jord’s blushes to stop.It wasn’t as though Jord minded, besides.The flushing didn’t disguise how aroused the comments made him.

They went slow, checking in with each other regularly.It wasn’t a typical behavior of Nikandros during sex, but as he heard the shattered moans and felt the gentle, but insistent hands, he realized why he didn’t mind that it was different this time.He was utterly in love with this man and this was exactly how he wanted it to be.

The spot behind Jord’s ear was particularly sensitive.Jord wasn’t fond of being bit, unless it was on his neck, then he loved it.The best way to torture him was to kiss the insides of his thighs.The best discovery of the night, however, had been that Jord wasn’t particularly flexible.It had led to a bout of shameless teasing, Nikandros wondering how someone who pursued sword fighting like he did, could have gotten this far without a severe injury, despite stretching very little.

Jord stroked his cock a bit too harshly for that one.

When they were done, Jord fell asleep almost instantly, half of his limbs still on top of Nikandros.Instead of moving them, Nikandros had stroked them until he fell asleep himself.

 

More weeks passed and they were having sex all the time.Nikandros’ favorite time was when they’d done it in Damen and Laurent’s room.Though it had been hurried, it had been thrilling due to the knowledge they could get caught.It was even more thrilling when they hadn’t been and they’d received no indication that either Laurent or Damen had any idea what had happened over their table.Sometimes Jord still started coughing to disguise his ridiculous grin when he saw it.

The fate of Akielos—and consequently Vere—was weighing on him.Damen and Laurent’s plight was not getting any easier.There was lots of money and power working against them.Their stress was so palpable that sometimes, it would find it’s way into Jord and Nikandros’ conversations and relationship.There were nights they went to bed without talking that day, mostly because Jord thought Nikandros wasn’t worried enough.

He was worried.But sometimes, he was more worried that the stress was going to tear them apart.The only thing that would make him feel better when he felt that way was watching Damen and Laurent, who were under significantly more stress, but somehow, still managed to love each other without boundary or ego.If they could do it, surely he and Jord could.

No, he knew they could.The moment he’d told Jord he loved him, he knew they could.There was something untouchable about that moment, something that would never age, and he knew in every argument, every stressful night, he could return to it, remind Jord of it, and they would be okay.

That is, until he wasn’t sure.Until he was surrounded by bodies and Jord was nowhere to be found.Until he was overturning every dead body he could find and checking the face, hoping and praying that it wasn’t glassy gray eyes and blood stained, deathly pale skin.Until he felt dread sinking into his heart.Until he realized that if Jord was dead, he was finished.

He was barely aware of Damen, his best friend in the world, or what that would mean for him.He was barely aware of the words he was saying to Damen as he vented his frustration at all of the dead bodies that weren’t Jord.What he was aware of, though, was Damen’s hand in his and Damen’s constant and unwavering presence; the kind of presence that indicated just how much he cared.Nikandros clung to it as they walked through the bodies again.

And then he spotted him, a man with the familiar lithe body trying to raise himself on his elbows.He was sprinting and repeating Jord’s name over and over again.There was no other word in the world, as far as he was concerned.

He flung himself down at Jord’s side and fluttered his hands just over his body, not willing to touch in case he prodded the wrong thing.Though, almost instantly, the injury became obvious.Jord was missing a hand.An entire hand.A beautiful hand.A hand that had told Nikandros he was beautiful and important countless times.That was enough to bring Nikandros to tears.But he managed to collect himself enough to speak, placing a hand on Jord’s chest, and saying, “Stop, my love, stop.Please stop trying to sit up.We can help you if you just wait.”

Jord didn’t stop, so Nikandros did the only thing he could think of.He grabbed Jord’s head between his hands and shoved it onto his lap, stroking the hair and murmuring nonsense into his hair.

“Nik,” Jord said, the words gravely with pain, “You found me.”

“Of course I did, idiot.I wasn’t leaving without you.”Then, “I’m so sorry.I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”

“Stop, Nik.I can protect myself.”  
“You lost a fucking hand.”

“I’m aware.”

Swallowing his retort, Nikandros whispered, “Does it hurt?”

“Yes.”

“What can I do?”

“Make me forget.”

Nodding, Nikandros bent down and kissed Jord hard, holding his lips there as long as he could.When he finally pulled away to breathe, there were tears and snot everywhere and it was enough to make Jord laugh feebly.That is, until he tried to wipe them away with a bloody stump.

Nikandros could look nowhere else, suddenly.It wasn’t fair.The tears were flowing faster and he was almost sobbing.Jord was saying something but he couldn’t hear, not until Jord yelled his name.“Nik, I’m going to be okay.It is unfortunate, but nothing I can’t handle.Nik…goddammit…stop crying.”

“It’s not okay.”

“My hand has been cut off.I get decide if it’s going to be okay or not.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t either.”  
“You sound frustrated with me.”

“I am.What I need from you are jokes, stories, or laughter.Something that can make me happy, hopeful.”

“I can’t think of…I can’t…”

“Nikandros,” Jord said.“Please.”

“Okay, okay,” Nikandros murmured, watching as Damen ran away to fetch a physician.“Uh…did I ever tell you about the time Damen and I almost burnt down a brothel?”

“Yes,” Jord said, a whisper of a smile on his face, “But tell me again.”

 

Jord wasn’t talking.He was sitting and staring and there was nothing Nikandros could do to break him out of it, which was why, regretfully, he’d enlisted the help of Laurent. 

When Laurent exited the tent, he told Nikandros that Jord wanted to see him.It was hard to believe that short of a conversation had remedied damage that Nikandros was incapable of doing anything about, but he was willing to take anything at the moment.Without a word, he slipped into the tent and found Jord in the same position, but his face was slightly redder, and his eyes weren’t void of emotion.There was a hint of something there.Nikandros wondered if he would ever get to see starlight in his eyes again.

“Jord?” he murmured.

“I’ve been told to get over it.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have let him in here.”

“No,” Jord sighed, “He’s right.What’s done is done.I don’t have a left hand.It’s not like I used it for anything important.”

“Don’t say that,” Nikandros whispered, his heart breaking.“That’s something I would say and you’re not me.”

“Maybe I’m not who you think I am anymore.”

That took away all of Nikandros’ breath.He could feel then just how important his next words were.They were the difference between having this for the rest of his life or losing it piece by heart wrenching piece in slow agony, because their love was not one that would die easy.The problem was, he wasn’t good at moments like this.He always said the wrong thing, because he always said the first thing that he could think of.

Slowing his breath, Nikandros did something he’d never done in his life.He thought and revised and thought some more.“Maybe you’re not.Maybe I have to relearn every bit of you, but I’m going to.I’m determined.I love you and I will love you no matter what changes, because I will acquaint myself with the changed part and I will accept it and I will cherish it, like I do with the rest of you.Please let me do that.”

“It won’t be easy.”

“What makes you think I want easy?I want you.All I’ve wanted since the day I met you, is you.”

“I don’t have a left hand, Nik.”

“No.”

“I liked having one.”

Nikandros smiled.“It was a good hand, truly.There were many things that it was excellent at, but I’m sure the right will be just as excellent at those things.And if not, I’ve always got a left hand.”

“I think I want to sleep.”

“Okay.Where do you want me?”

“Wherever you want,” Jord sighed.“You don’t need to change everything about how you go about your life for me.In fact, I don’t want you to.”

“Fine,” Nikandros shrugged, falling onto their small cot and spreading across the whole thing.“I hope the floor suits you.I’ve always wanted this all to myself.”

There was a long silence, but then Jord burst into laughter.It wasn’t as bright as usual, but it was almost his normal laugh and it was the most beautiful noise Nikandros had ever heard.He sat up and grinned.He shouted, “Time to throw a party!Jord just laughed.It’s a momentous occasion.”

“Shut up,” Jord groaned through his laughter.He used his one hand to shove Nikandros over and then flopped down on the cot beside him.When the laughter subsided, Jord curled into him and whispered, “I’m glad I fell in love with you.I know for certain that you are the only person who could’ve made me laugh right now.”

“That’s because I’m hilarious.”

“You’re an idiot,” Jord replied fondly.

 

It was easier after that, but Jord was more prone to bouts of sudden and strong irritation.During those, it was best for Nikandros to be serious, something, luckily, he’d developed well enough so far in their relationship, that he could manage it.He was also far less optimistic than he used to be and that was a loss that actually hurt Nikandros.It was something he had adored about Jord.The long stretches of silence, while heavier, were mostly normal and hardly disturbed Nikandros.Either way, they struggled through together, depending on each other for laughter and unconditional love, even when one of them was complaining or yelling or hitting pitchers over or crying.

It was truly the biggest test of Nikandros’ life and it was the moment he truly understood what love was.It was a choice.A choice to stay, a choice to grow and to change, a choice to never give up, a choice to take harsh words and take the time to understand why they had been said.

It was taking the time to murmur “I love you” over and over into Jord’s ear until the early hours of the morning because he couldn’t sleep, fixated on the fact that if he closed his eyes, it felt as though his hand was still there.It was respecting Jord’s wish that the stump never be touched, however dumb Nikandros found the rule.It was telling Jord the stump was beautiful even though it wasn’t, because he wasn’t any less beautiful despite it.It was kissing him during the good times and loving him from a distance in the bad, because any version of loving Jord was enough.

But, most of all, it was seeing the bravery Jord had and being in awe of it.Jord got up every day and pretended everything was alright until he and Nikandros were alone again.There were times when it was very obvious he didn’t want to hear a word Nikandros had to say, but he stayed anyway, because he knew it was important.Together, they grew and their relationship changed.By the time they’d reached normal, it wasn’t anything like it had been in the beginning, but it was better.The respect and understanding had somehow deepened.

Their love had been tested and it had survived.The moment Nikandros knew that, it was the most grateful he had ever been.More grateful than he was the day he saw Guion’s head roll and knew that Verlos was going to succeed. 

He, Jord, and Jokaste had been in their room getting drunk.Damen and Laurent hadn’t come, as Nikandros had expected and because of that, Jokaste didn’t stay long.Soon, it was just them, exactly the way they wanted it to be.

“It’s over,” Jord murmured.“More than that, we have a month off.”

“I know,” Nikandros said, reaching over and grabbing Jord’s right hand.“We’ll probably go down in history.”

“Please,” Jord laughed.“Damen and Laurent will, but no one will know who we are.”

“We deserve a sentence, at least.You lost a hand for their goddamn country.”

“And I would lose another for them.”

“Yes,” Nikandros sighed. “You’re much too loyal.”

“As if you’re any different.”

“I can’t lose a hand, Jord.My beauty depends on…you know what, I’m going to take that back.”

“No need,” Jord said.“You would be uglier without a hand.”

“But you’re not uglier.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“I am not lying.”

“You are, but it’s a kind lie, so I’ll allow it,” Jord smiled.

“Besides,” Nikandros said, “Everyone knows you’re the worse liar.”

“Yes, I am.I giggle.”

“Only a little.It’s really not that embarrassing.”  
“There you go, lying again.”

Nikandros leaned over and kissed Jord on the nose and then again on the mouth.“It’s because I love you.The moon’s not enough anymore, you know.I think, someday, in order to truly prove my love to you, I’m going to have to put the entire sky into a bag.”

“Talk it to death.”

“Very funny.”

Jord wasn’t laughing, but his eyes were.They were more than laughing; they were sparkling, just like the stars.“Maybe I don’t need to bag the sky,” Nikandros murmured.“It’s in your eyes.I just have to keep it there.”

“I think anyone will sleep with you, if you say that to them.”

“Then why aren’t we fucking?”  
  
“Because you keep talking,” Jord said, before kissing him into silence.


End file.
